So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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