i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
