Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
