Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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