Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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