:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
