the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
wow bdsm is so cute
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
