I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
