Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
