Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize