Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
