Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
