I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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