Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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