I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
