Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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