ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
