would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
