there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
