I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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