what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
