Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I look better un-naked...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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