ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Jerry, you need to find god
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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