You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
