Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
