I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wish i was in the wii world.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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