and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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