I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
