Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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