ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
