And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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