If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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