I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
