I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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