pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
