He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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