This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
