There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
porn star boner night. come get it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
