ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
