but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
