Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
