Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
