If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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