My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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