you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I am naked and annoyed.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
