I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
