I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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