I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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