Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
