Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
