My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
