He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
how does that bad decision feel?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
