I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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