Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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