So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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