I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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