how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
