She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
