did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
honey bunches of taint.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
