Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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