Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
