I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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