Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
