D3 body, D1 cock
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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