Tell her she can't have a vagina
her vagine was all disorganized.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
