Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
