You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
